PCS Blues

A little fun with apologies to Dolly Parton.

PCS Blues...

What in hell was he thinkin'?
When he joined the military?
I've always hated moving; now we do it constantly.
It makes me hate my husband, the dogs, our stuff, and his boss.
Why I can't even count just how much property we've lost...
Thanks to PCS Blues.... PCS Blues...
It's a wonder I don't smoke crack
when those movers start to pack...
Got those crappy rental, goin' mental PCS Blues!

Most times I love his colleagues, his uniform, and his job.
And I don't even roll my eyes when they say that I'm a slob.
But when it's time to PCS, my mood becomes utter shit.
It's the one time of the year my man starts thinking it's time to commit
me for PCS Blues... PCS Blues...
Go on, get the Ativan! Cuz it's time to load the van!
Got those budget bustin', crotches crustin' PCS Blues!

Well you know that they can't help it!
They gotta rotate 'em all!
Only thing that gets me through it
is high grade alcohol!

Oh Lord, oh Lord, this is my favorite part of military life...
You can't relax when you gotta make some tracks...
Movin' at the whims of Uncle Sam... suffering, suffering, suffering...
You'll go somewhere new with snow, sun, rain, or sand...

A dependa had to write this song,
The troops would be scared to.
Lest they be reprimanded, given quite a talking to cuz' of
PCS Blues.... PCS Blues!

Better check that attitude,
turn it into gratitude...
for that special kind of family time,
Teeth a grittin', babies shittin',
most disastrous, blow up mattress,
PCS Blues....
Permanent change of station!
Got those tempers flarin', eyes a glarin',
spittin', swearin', virus sharin'
Job's awaitin', get a goin' PCS Blues!